Yes, Mad Oilman has been busy lately. The oilfield stops for no man, and when it is booming there is business everywhere.
And then this weekend. Of course the Valentine's Day rears its ugly head, but then that day is also Mad Oilman's wedding anniversary. Which has its plusses and minuses. Plus is I will never forget my anniversary. Kind of impossible to do given the day it occurs. And (ideally) it kills two holidayswith one stone. Which is great in theory. Of course Mrs. Oilman is having none of the economies of scale present here.
As Mad Oilman is the Traditionalist, the selection of Anniversary gifts is fairly straightforward. This is Year Two. The theme is Cotton. I thought about a lifetime supply of shotgun patches for the Mrs. 20 gauge, but that may not have gone over too well. How about sheets? They're cotton, right? So off to the Internet to do some research. How we lived without this tool I will never know. Within an hour I know all about cottontypes, thread counts, weaves, etc. And some good pricing info as well. I had no idea it is possible to spend several thousand dollars on one set of SHEETS! Holy cow! A whole new world opened up in this little trek to the World of Linen.
Grabbing a yellow pages (the real, physical, doorstop kind) I found a local establishment, fairly near the Oilman Compound which offered these wares. What an adventure that was. Mad Oilman strolls in to the store and is promptly attacked by a sweet elderly lady. She started on the Egyptian cotton/Italian weave/thread count spiel. Armed with my recent research, I parried and thrust away these meager sales attempts. "I will not be confused by your linenly jargon!" I maneuvered around a display bed to create distance between me and my attacker. "I will not be goaded into spending way too much on something you believe I know nothing about!".
And they had some of those really fancy sheets. Not for the Oilman compound. Middle of the road is good enough for me.
Before the sale is complete, the sweet elderly lady swiftly jumps into attack mode once again. I wasn't ready for that one. She flew around the counter and started pointing to all kinds of smelly stuff. Things she thought the Mrs. might like. Defenseless, I was beginning to fall under her evil spell. But she went too far. She picked up this thing that can only be described as a giant salt shaker. "Oh you must have one of these" she said. Thoroughly confused, I asked meekly "what is that?"
"Oh it's for bed powder".
"Bed powder?"
"Oh, yes. You sprinkle this between the sheets every morning. Keeps your bed fresh. This one is lilac"
Lilac my ass. That stuff was hideous. Spell broken, I fought back. "Well Mrs. Oilman may like that but NOT IN MY BED!"
Realizing her mistake, she gracefully returned behind the counter to conclude the sale.
And the gift was a success. Being the non-Traditionalist, the Mrs. consulted the forums at Mr. duToit's site. And purchased me a spotting scope for the range.
And a good Anniversary was had by all.
